Thursday, November 18, 2010
Hmm...
I was driving home this afternoon and a Rascal Flatts song came on the radio. (Yes I need to stop listening to country) It made my mind "go there" and I started getting sad thinking about my boys while I was listening to it. I hadn't said anyting outloud or started crying or anything. It was so weird because all of a sudden Josey said "Mommy!" I asked him what he wanted, and he said "Baby Jaxsen in Heaven." Then he went on about Asher and that the babies were "little" babies, etc. He said "In Heaven with God, Mommy, my brothers and Johnny baby too." The timing was just so odd. We never say anything about the babies in front of him. I have only said their names to him like twice ever. I wonder why he was thinking about them at that moment? The exact same moment I was replaying everything in my head. Just one of those moments that makes you go...hmm? By the way I'm pretty sure my little guy is a genius. I don't know many two-year-olds that can carry on such a long conversation. He is learning so much every day :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I am exhausted lately! Josey has been giving us a run for our money. It is so hard to discipline him because half the time he is so cute that you can't even be mad. He decided to become all the way potty-trained. Of course he is young so there are accidents from time to time but I no longer have to do load after load of laundry every day! I am very excited not to have to worry about taking a diaperbag everywhere!!
Halloween was great. He was the cutest puppy dog ever!! We trick-or-treated at several different events that week. Josey really enjoyed it. It was so fun now that he is old enough to say "trick-or-treat!" He was absolutely adorable running through the neighborhood trick-or-treating with his cousins.
We are starting the adventure into having another baby. I started a medication that I have to be on to build up in my system before we can use clomid. Unfortunately, it makes me violently sick. Thankfully though I feeling better after a few weeks. I am trying not to put too much pressure on myself but that is hard to do. Sometimes I think about making baby things from the patterns I bought, how I will decorate the nursery, etc. I did finally put away the baby clothes for the boys. The crib is still up in our room...not sure if we will put it away or move it to the other room but it really doesn't seem to bother me. It still has the bear sitting in it that Mike's mom bought and wrote Johnny's initials on the ribbon. I have been doing ok, but for some reason yesterday I was really weepy all day. I started crying when we went to bed last night. Luckily Mike was there to talk me down like always. I thought that really helped but then today I was walking down the hallway at school and I heard a little boy crying in one of the rooms. Don't know why, but when I got to the restroom I just busted out crying. I am thinking it may be the medication and still raging hormones...sigh. I know that so many people (family and friends) are worried about us taking another adventure into expanding our family and I don't think I can ever make everyone understand. Unless you've been through trying and trying with no luck, and doctors telling you that the chances of conceiving on your own are slim to none, and devastating disappointments, I don't know that it is possible to understand. I don't think it is anyone's choice but ours to make. Every person has to make the choice that is right for their family. No one should judge anyone for using medication, or other methods, because you just don't know what another person has been through or how they feel. I respect everyone's opinions, but bluntly...it is our choice.
Looking forward to the holidays. I have trouble because I would have been 31 weeks this week and most likely would have delivered triplets sometime soon. Dec. 7 was the day we set for a goal to be home with the babies. Mike's mom even set a timer in her phone for that day, we were all so optimistic. January 14 will be awful, as that was our due date. We just HAVE to focus on our beautiful son and wonderful family during my favorite season of the year. Can't wait for Thanksgiving and of course Black Friday Christmas shopping!!
Halloween was great. He was the cutest puppy dog ever!! We trick-or-treated at several different events that week. Josey really enjoyed it. It was so fun now that he is old enough to say "trick-or-treat!" He was absolutely adorable running through the neighborhood trick-or-treating with his cousins.
We are starting the adventure into having another baby. I started a medication that I have to be on to build up in my system before we can use clomid. Unfortunately, it makes me violently sick. Thankfully though I feeling better after a few weeks. I am trying not to put too much pressure on myself but that is hard to do. Sometimes I think about making baby things from the patterns I bought, how I will decorate the nursery, etc. I did finally put away the baby clothes for the boys. The crib is still up in our room...not sure if we will put it away or move it to the other room but it really doesn't seem to bother me. It still has the bear sitting in it that Mike's mom bought and wrote Johnny's initials on the ribbon. I have been doing ok, but for some reason yesterday I was really weepy all day. I started crying when we went to bed last night. Luckily Mike was there to talk me down like always. I thought that really helped but then today I was walking down the hallway at school and I heard a little boy crying in one of the rooms. Don't know why, but when I got to the restroom I just busted out crying. I am thinking it may be the medication and still raging hormones...sigh. I know that so many people (family and friends) are worried about us taking another adventure into expanding our family and I don't think I can ever make everyone understand. Unless you've been through trying and trying with no luck, and doctors telling you that the chances of conceiving on your own are slim to none, and devastating disappointments, I don't know that it is possible to understand. I don't think it is anyone's choice but ours to make. Every person has to make the choice that is right for their family. No one should judge anyone for using medication, or other methods, because you just don't know what another person has been through or how they feel. I respect everyone's opinions, but bluntly...it is our choice.
Looking forward to the holidays. I have trouble because I would have been 31 weeks this week and most likely would have delivered triplets sometime soon. Dec. 7 was the day we set for a goal to be home with the babies. Mike's mom even set a timer in her phone for that day, we were all so optimistic. January 14 will be awful, as that was our due date. We just HAVE to focus on our beautiful son and wonderful family during my favorite season of the year. Can't wait for Thanksgiving and of course Black Friday Christmas shopping!!
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