Saturday, July 31, 2010

Johnny Louis Smith

At 8:39 am on July 20, 2010 our son Johnny Louis Smith was born at home. As I write this it still doesn't seem real.
I woke up with some discomfort at 14 weeks 4 days along with our precious triplets. I called the doctor's office and waited for a call back. I delivered Johnny at home about 30 minutes later. We were transported by ambulance to the hospital. I cannot describe the emotions I felt as I rode in the ambulance thinking I was losing all of my babies. In the ER due to a nurse's confusion, I actually thought I lost two of them. Our Dr. met us there. He gently took care of me and the baby. He then did an ultrasound and found two heartbeats safe inside. After about an hour I was sent to an OB room to wait, not knowing if the others would be able to survive such a traumatic event. I was given lots of antibiotics and other medicine. Mike and I chose to hold our sweet little boy and spent about 30 minutes with him in my arms. So glad we chose to do that. He was perfect, yes at 14 and a half weeks...perfect. My first thought was that he had Josey's feet. We hadn't really decided on any names but Johnny just seemed right. Louis was my granfather's name so Mike thought it would be the best middle name. Letting go of him was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know he is in Heaven and I know God had a bigger plan for our second born son.
I spent the next 48 hours worrying and waiting to see what would happen. The placenta did not deliver with Johnny and never did. We were unsure for almost a week as to whether the babies shared a placenta or had separate ones. The Dr. is fairly confident that they each have their own, which is the best case scenario. I had severe labor pains the second night and they sedated me to calm my body. I have never prayed as I did that night. Begging God to let me keep my babies. When I woke up, we still had two little miracles safe inside. I ended up having a procedure the following Tuesday (a week later) and surgery on Wednesday the 28th to help keep the babies inside. We had two ultrasounds a day to check on the babies and so far they seem unaffected. Very high in the uterus and strong heartbeats. I was in the hospital a total of 10 days. I am very happy to be home but we have a long road ahead. I am on complete bedrest indefinitely. Only able to get up to use the restroom and go to Dr. appointments. We go on Aug. 9th to see how things are going. I pray for the strength to mentally and physically come through this for my babies. My heart is broken, but I must be strong. I have good moments and bad, but I know God will guide me through this. We love you baby Johnny, and you will be loved and missed forever.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Busy times!

Well we've been potty training since Thursday and it is definitely time-consuming. He is doing great but of course not 100% there yet. Yesterday (day four) I took him out of the house for the first time, no accidents in the car and he even went potty in the regular toilet while we were out!! I am so proud of my big boy but sad all at the same time. I know we need to get him on a very set schedule before the babies come but it is hard since I'm off right now. He got a twin size bed and is adjusting to it. Although he did fall out last night, which he never did in his toddler bed but I think he got tangled in the sheet. We had been putting up a baby gate to keep him in his room but that has come down now. We want him to listen to us when we tell him it is time for bed, and avoid the occasional standing at the gate crying/talking to us to get up. Seems to be working well. Kinda worries me when all of a sudden he is standing at my bed saying "mommy wake, wake!" I have no idea what he's been doing. Today when I heard him say that he was using his tools to "fix" our bed. Nothing he can really get into and all the doors are locked, front door chained, but a Mom does worry with a creative little boy!
As for me, I am feeling well for the most part. Potty-training definitely is taking every bit of the little energy I have. I get tired so easily. I am not eating enough, but I just don't feel like eating...which I know I have to in order to grow three babies. Still losing weight but as long as the babies are growing we are ok. We are excited/nervous to go back to the Doctor next Monday to see the babies again. But then again I was nervous everytime we went with J until we heard the heartbeat, etc. It will be nice to have an ultrasound everytime but I think a little more anxiety will be there. They can't simply do the doppler to listen because we have to know who we are listening to. I am sure many things will be different than with Josey, so I feel clueless.
We are working on re-organizing Josey's room and converting the office into a THREE baby room. I have a huge walk-in closet so half is becoming the office/storage for my teaching things, etc. It is slow going because I have to take a break every 10 minutes. Mike started his part-time job today and hopefully will start his full-time job this week. Details coming on that one soon. We are ecstatic but it's overwhelming that we are so far behind that it feels like he need four jobs to catch up. I am praying it works out but will not be easy. Not knowing how long I will be able to work is a big worry for me. I have always worked. I feel kinda helpless but I know, as my family reminds me daily, that my job is to grow three healthy babies. I have been listing things we will need to try and get an idea. So many have been so kind to offer their baby things. I'm sure soon we will be taking everyone up on the offers as we get a little further along. I have now decided we are going to need two more baby carriers with the base for the car. I had thought maybe we could just go with 5lb. and up carseats but the babies just might be too small. The more I thought about it, I decided it seemed crazy not to put them in carriers. So if anyone has a gently used carrier with base please let me know. We are so lucky to have such great friends and family that have been so supportive. We will update after Doctor appt. next week!