On May 7th it was time to take a pregnancy test at the end of the last treatment. I debated it most of the day and then stopped for a test on the way home from work. I had been praying so hard about it in the days leading up to it.
Mike lost his job of four years just a few days earlier and our life was turned upside down in an instant. I had no clue what we were going to do and felt pretty hopeless. One of the first conversations we had after he got the news was how we would not pursue more fertility treatments for a while, as this cycle was ending. Partly for the stress we have been under and partly for the financial aspect. I felt a peace about it, but was definitely heartbroken.
When I got home that afternoon, I didn't tell Mike I was going to take a test. As I waited for the results I prepared myself for another disappointment (I think I've taken around 10 tests or so in a little over a year.) I already had the peptalk ready for myself. Of course I was hopeful and praying like crazy. When I finally decided to look at the test, I was stunned to see a tiny, faint pink line in the test area. My heart racing, I came out to tell Mike I had a positive test, but I was still not getting my hopes up because I had a false positive a few months ago. I had to go to Alicia's orchestra concert that evening so I stopped for another test on the way. Of course as soon as I got in the car I had to call Laura and tell her what had happened. I made her vow secrecy!
The next morning Josey woke up crying at 4 am. Of course once I was awake, I had to take the test. So while Mike changed Josey's diaper and tried to put him back to bed I took the test. A definite POSITIVE! I cried and tried to get myself together enough to tell Mike. I went to Josey's room and Mike asked me not to get him up because he had been getting in our bed since he's been sick lately and we were trying not to make a habit of that. Of course I had to though. Mike went into the bathroom so I gave the test stick to Josey, yes it was clean. When Mike came out Josey gave him the stick and said "Baby." Although we couldn't help to laugh at the irony of timing, losing a job and finding out we were pregnant in the same week, we were overjoyed!! As the three of us crawled into bed together I felt amazingly blessed.
My sister Erin was getting pinned for nursing school that day and graduating from the UA on Saturday, so I didn't want to steal any attention from her great accomplishment. It worked out great because Sunday was Mother's Day. I framed a picture of Josey wearing a big brother shirt for both grandmas. They were both so happy. What a great Mother's Day!
I am now only five weeks along so it's a little scary, but we are staying positive. God has blessed us so much. Although Mike's work future is uncertain and the financial burden is great, I know that we will come through this together. I won't post this for a while I'm sure because I don't want my pregnancy to hurt my chances of getting a classroom job next year. I go to the doctor on the last day of school, June 8th, so I will probably let everyone know and post this blog once school is out. I had to write this so I would be able to remember how we felt and so our baby will one day be able to read how much love we had from the minute we knew we were pregnant. I am so excited for our growing family! As I sit here, I watch Josey dancing around the livingroom with his Daddy. I am so happy that Josey will have someone to grow up with and to share his life with. I know he will be a great big brother!! I love my babies.
